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This is my positive home birth experience with baby #4 born at 7lbs 6oz, 20in. It turned out to be an unplanned, unassisted home birth. I wrote this story 4 days postpartum.
It started as a normal day. Painful to get up from bed. It marked week 39.
My 1 year old woke me up as he usually does.
The Contractions
I felt a mild discomfort in the front of my lower abdomen, as I would have with my period. This was at about 8 AM.
I woke up my husband and notified him. This way he could start planning out his day with the possibility that this day would be it.
After 30 minutes I notified the head midwife just so she could be aware as well. Pregnancy and labor is different every time so I was aware that it could be a false alarm.
She asked me some questions to gauge if they should expect the baby to be born this day.
I went on to make breakfast. We sat to eat and I was getting the mild inconsistent contractions, although they seemed to have gotten a little stronger by breakfast.
We finished breakfast and I decided to sit down on the couch. The contractions were strong enough that I didn’t want to stand at the sink washing dishes.
I went to the living room. I squatted or got on my knees and hands with every contraction. I think it helped a tiny bit in comparison to standing.
This was about 1 PM. The contractions remained inconsistent and at about the same intensity. The intensity was high but not as high as with the other 3. So, I expected the contractions to get more intense before it was actually time to push.
I updated the midwife. I sent her a link to the app I was using to track my contractions so she could receive live updates.
I had started feeling the sensation to open my legs so I’d squat down low to the floor with the contractions.
After a couple contractions I squatted low on top of the couch. I held on to the back rest of the couch.
The second contraction the midwife received a notification for I felt a very slight pressure to push. It made me a bit more nervous but thought it definitely wasn’t time yet. My contractions were still inconsistent & intense but not as intense as expected. I let her know of this in a text message.
This was at 1:54p.
The Pushing
My husband was working on blowing up the pool. The plan was to set it up & fill it up with water. Then wait for the midwives to arrive to get into the water.
The next contraction came, my husband added counterpressure to my pelvis. “Let me know when it’s over.”
As the contraction came I felt the urge to push, except I couldn’t push or stop pushing. My body pushed. “The baby is coming” I managed to say.
“Ok, but let me know when the contraction is over” my husband responded. He was working on inflating the pool.
“No, the baby is coming” I repeated as the next contraction came and my body pushed.
This was the first time I could clearly feel as baby pushed through the cervix.
It burned.
Then he made it through the canal. I felt his whole journey out. As my body pushed, I could also feel the painful contractions.
I tried to slow the pushing because the baby was coming so fast it was afraid I’d tear.
“Jesus please help me,” I prayed.
The baby made it to the vaginal opening and the burning sensation started as my body continued pushing the baby out of my body.
I screamed the whole time with each contraction. It was intense.
We suspected the labor and birth would be fast but not this fast. The baby was shooting right out with no pause.
My husband is very good under pressure and he is exactly what I needed. He was going to try helping me move to take my shorts and underwear off.
“I can’t move. Please don’t move me” I managed to say.
At one point he looked and he confirmed that baby was definitely coming – already crowning.
My husband kept the 3 toddlers strictly in their toy room which is literally next to the living room (in which I was giving birth). Quickly he grabbed the scissors and let me know he’d have to cut my shorts and underwear.
I couldn’t care less about what he needed to do to my clothes.
My body just kept on pushing. I felt the ring of fire and screamed through it because baby was not slowing down. I pushed the head out then the body. I felt relieved that the baby was out. My husband caught the baby.
“The baby is a boy,” he confirmed.
(We never went to get any ultrasound or gender test for the baby during the pregnancy. We actually thought the baby was a girl until I had a dream. God gave me a dream – I was at the hospital giving birth. After the baby was born the nurses took the baby to the baby station which was on the other side of the wall. My husband stood in between the delivery room and the baby station room. “Psst. Psst,” I called to him, “Is the baby a girl?” He gestured his head to signal for me to come take a look. I got up and slowly walked to take a peak on the other side. The baby was a boy.)
He told me to turn around & lay down so he could hand me the baby. I did.
He handed me the baby through my legs. We placed baby on my abdomen. The umbilical cord felt short so I couldn’t bring him up to my chest.
The After Birth
The midwife called & my husband let her know baby was born. She told him that I shouldn’t birth the placenta yet. A different midwife was on her way as well & she was closer.
This was the most annoying & torturing time of the whole thing. My body wanted to push it out. I kept getting strong contractions (like very strong period cramps) and the urge to push.
Fighting the urge to push the placent out was so painful.
The first midwife finally made it and soon after the head midwife made it. This was about an hour after the baby’s birth – 3pm!
My husband showed them where to get my stainless steel mixing bowl for the placenta.
The head midwife explained that she wouldn’t pull on the placenta but was going to hold the cord to guide it out. She counted to 3 for me to push the placenta out. So I did.
Relief!
She notified me that she’s was going to check for tears, “is that ok?”
“Yes,” I consented.
She checked. “No tear. Only some lacerations.”
Relief.
The Postpartum
The midwives helped bring my baby to my breast after the placenta was out & accounted for. The umbilical cord was short so I couldn’t do this before.
My husband cut the umbilical cord, the midwife put the clamp on, and baby was left to breastfeed.
The midwives prepared a sitz bath tea for me & poured it into my peri-bottle. This way the herbs could help me without an actual bath.
They helped me sit up on the couch. OMG – that was so painful.
My insides felt so heavy and as if gravity was pulling on them. I felt like I was just hit by a truck. This is the first time it felt this way.
I took a few minutes and braved getting up.
The midwives helped me up as my husband held our baby and guided me to the bathroom holding a chux pad between my legs. Blood still dripped down my legs but they did a great job cleaning after me.
I sat on the toilet, peed, used my sitz bath peri-bottle and the midwives helped me up.
If nothing else giving birth is definitely humbling.
I laid back down on the couch and they performed the baby measurements. After they were done, they put olive oil on baby’s butt to make cleaning off meconium easier and put on diaper.
I wish I’d enforce my desire for the 3 golden hours. However I just felt so tired and wanted to get all this over with and be left to settle in.
It didn’t quite happen this way.
The Recovery
Baby latched just fine, my husband was home preparing us some burgers to eat, my kids were all there excited for their new baby brother. Breastfeeding became unbearably painful on the second and third day and it was a full on rollercoaster since.
I will go into detail on my breastfeeding journey on a different post and how I overcame the obstacles/issues. Breastfeeding actually caused so much stress for me this postpartum.
- Nipple pain.
- Clogged Ducts.
- Mastitis.
- Thrush.
Additionally, I’ve had to face other bodily issues this time around which have made the experience so stressful. Sorry –TMI
- Clitoris healed very slowly from the lacerations.
- Even though lacerations healed, clitoris still feels uncomfortably sensitive.
- Hemorrhoids have been making pooping extremely painful.
- Chronic constipation has also made pooping extremely painful.
- Pelvic floor heaviness and minimal bladder incontinence.
- Unable to move neck due to neck hurting.
I am planning to make an appointment with a pelvic floor therapist for help me. This is the first time I’ve actually needed this type of help. I will provide an update on this once I’ve overcame these issues.
The Reflection
I am grateful there was no perineal tearing! Although I am extremely grateful for that, everything else has been such an added stress to the postpartum recovery on top of having to care for 3 toddlers and a newborn baby.
Every baby is different. Evey pregnancy, birth, and postpartum has it’s unique challenges. For me, baby #4 has been most challenging because he is an “arms baby.” He does not like being put down.
(Update: nearly 5 months postpartum (10/12/2025), baby will stay in his rocker or on his floor time blanket/mat longer. Not too much longer. If I could I would try different carriers so I can have my hands free.)
That’s not even accounting for the other personal challenges we face – financial obstacles, relationship issues/conflicts, etc.
I’ve definitely struggled with finding peace and gratitude – instead of complaining. However when I realize I’m complaining I switch to thanking God for specific things that are blessings. Life feels so chaotic right now and it is extremely difficult. This is probably the most difficult thing I’ve done.
It. Is. Hard.
But it is ALSO good.
Marriage is a blessing. Children are a blessing. Hard times prune you. So while I fail to keep my cool or remember the goodness of God in certain moments, God is in fact GOOD. I am grateful for His mercy and grace.
Breastfeeding has NOT been easy BUT I have not given up. I wanted to and I have a few times, haha. Even my husband said, “You keep saying you’re going to stop breastfeeding but here you are still breastfeeding.” It’s not perfect, I am also supplementing with formula.
This has, if nothing else, challenged me to be persistent. I had to push through. Moms are made to breastfeed so there is a grieving process when we have to give it up. I grieved it with each of my other children.
I am grateful that I had an unassisted birth. It is an exciting memory and experience. It taught me that trusting God is really all I need.
Having a homebirth was definitely a different experience. I will choose to have a homebirth again, if we have more children a couple years from now. The only thing I missed from the hospital births was the 3 day hiatus with just my husband, new baby, and I.
If there is a next time, I hope to have a more efficient set up to be better prepared for postpartum. I was not prepared for the new challenges. I also hope to have a plan for having help.
I am grateful that my mother-in-law came over to cook for us the day after baby’s birth. It was so helpful. My sister-in-law, mom, and sister have been so helpful and supportive, as well. They have come by and played with the older kids OR carried the baby while I showered etc. So helpful!
I have so much to say but since this is already pretty long, I’ll share my thoughts on other posts!
I hope this was helpful to you!
P.S. Make sure to check out my shops. I’ll be adding more free eBooks and e-guides for you to download.
Bendiciones <3
